When the loving bond becomes conflictive or enters a crisis, this space proposes to hold the words of both members. We do not look for standardised solutions, but rather to foster reciprocal listening that allows questioning disagreements, misunderstandings and the ways in which each person is involved in the bond.
Couples therapy is not conceived here as a court where who is right is decided, nor as a space to apply coexistence guidelines or standard communication techniques. We understand that a couple is not just the sum of two people, but the construction of a unique bond that sustains its own pacts, myths and repetitions. The therapeutic work offers a space that holds both, but where the real patient is the bond. Through the sessions, a moment of pause is fostered so that mutual complaint or reproach gives way to questioning. Each member of the couple is invited to ask what position they occupy in the conflict, how current discomforts connect with each one’s personal histories and which unconscious pacts —that once worked— are today generating suffering.
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As in individual practice, we do not work with a closed number of sessions. The journey depends on the uniqueness of the couple, the complexity of their crisis and the time they need to process and shift the positions in which they are trapped.
For the couple’s device to work, both need to consent to inhabit the space, even if there are doubts or hesitations at first. If one refuses outright, it is usually more viable to start an individual listening space so that whoever consults can question their position in that bond.
That is not advisable. To preserve the neutrality of the space and so that neither feels there is a prior alliance or secrets with the therapist, it is essential that the couple’s space remains exclusive. If either needs an individual process, a referral is made to another professional on the team.
A neutral space to listen to each other without fighting.